Bystander Intervention Strategies

(ADAPTED FROM MEN CAN STOP RAPE, HTTP://WWW.MENCANSTOPRAPE.ORG, 2006)

"I" STATEMENTS

Three parts:

1. State your feelings,
2. Name the behavior,
3. State how you want the person to respond. This focuses on your feelings rather than criticizing the other person.
   
   Example: "I feel ________ when you __________ . Please don't do that anymore."

SILENT STARE

• Remember, you don't have to speak to communicate.
• Sometimes a disapproving look can be far more powerful than words.

HUMOR

• Reduces the tension of an intervention and makes it easier for the person to hear you.
• Do not undermine what you say with too much humor. Funny doesn't mean unimportant.

GROUP INTERVENTION

• There is safety and power in numbers.
• Best used with someone who has a clear pattern of inappropriate behavior where many examples can be presented as evidence of his problem.

BRING IT HOME

• Prevents someone from distancing himself from the impact of his actions.
  • Example: "I hope no one ever talks about you like that."
• Prevents someone from dehumanizing his targets.
  • Example: What if someone said your girlfriend deserved to be raped or called your mother a whore?" We're friends, right….?
• Reframes the intervention as caring and non-critical.
  • Example: "Hey Chad…..as your friend I've gotta tell you that getting a girl drunk to have sex with her isn't cool, and could get you in a lot of trouble. Don't do it."

DISTRACTION

• Snaps someone out of their "sexist comfort zone."
  • Example: Ask a man harassing a woman on the street for directions or the time.
• Allows a potential target to move away and/or to have other friends intervene.
  • Example: Spill your drink on the person or interrupt and start a conversation with the person.

^{(Information adapted to Barry University with the permission of the Women's Center at the University of Virginia Tech)}